Date: January 30, 2020 at 9:19:07 AM PST
God had developed this solar system and was looking to sell the planets. So He asked his ad guy to consult on how best to market them for maximum Return on His investment.
Ad Guy: Well off the bat I can tell they are way too close together. You'll never get a permit with that lot size. Current minimum set back is 50M miles. Secondly those colors are dated. I get a sixties vibe from them. Are you getting high again. I can call our designer and he can put together a more high end color palette. Something in the greys with just a splash of color. This looks like a carnival on the corner of Garish and Gaudy Streets. Tell me about their features. What do we have to work with?
God: This blue one here with the clouds has plenty of water features although it's currently infested with people. I was going to spray it but I think they may be about to take care of that themselves. It's more organic that way. And this little number, I call it Mercury, is a totally hot property. Solar power all the way. Oh look. One of those little buggers is on Mars. That's the red one. Oh Gross! He's growing potatoes in his own shit. Cheetos they make my skin crawl.
Ad Guy: Don't get distracted. Focus God. Focus. What's with the rings around that one?
God: Do you like it? Do you think it's too much? The rings are sold separately. An in-app purchase in a variety of colors and finishes.
Ad Guy: Have you thought about offering it through a streaming service? That way you could design a ring of the era. Maybe have a premium level that could include moons and comet flybys. What else?
God: Well there's this big one. Jupiter. It's mostly gas. But because it's so big I figure I could charge aa lot more. The profit margin could rival Apple products. Did I mention Jeff Bezoes is interested in buying Mercury? He wants to corner the space energy market.
Ad Guy: I'd wait on that. Maybe we could get a bidding war going on between him and Elon. What about this one?
God: That's Venus. Not sure I'm ready to let that one go.
Ad Guy: Why do think that is?
God: I keep thinking I shoulda put a ring on it.
Ad Guy: Ok. Well, I've gat a meeting in a bit so let's toss them out and see what happens. You hungry?
God: Yeah sure. What do feel like?
Ad Guy: I don't know. The usual I suppose.
God: If you want the usual, order the usual.
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