Date: February 13, 2020 at 6:47:09 PM PST
Before Kevin fired off one of his patented fastboules he cautioned everyone to turn away lest they be blinded by the glory of his shooting. One small unanticipated problem with the heat generated by the speed of his shoot is that it tended to burn and occasionally vaporize the pig scattering bits of bacon across the terrain. This tended to draw unleashed feral cats, dogs, ravens, turkey vultures and voles.
As a result the City, Cal Fire, the EPA, and the park maintenance crew have requested Kevin "The Kelvinator" restrict his shooting speed to subsonic ranges. He reluctantly has agreed, but has suggested the club has a deep state problem that is intent on keeping him in that infernal eternal second place.
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No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball. —Casey Stengel
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